By Jerry Nix, Freewavemaker, LLC on June 18, 2025
Life’s Roads
There was a time, when I was a young man, that I thought I knew what I wanted out of life. Now I can picture all my friends and acquaintances I’ve met over the years laughing and saying, “When the heck were you a young man!” Even my kids (when they don’t call me dad or daddy) refer to me and always have referred to me as “the Old Man.”
I remember one day reading a book about wasted talents and the author of the book said something to the effect that if you walked into any graveyard and walked past 100 graves, 99 of those graves would be of people who had died and never used their God Given Talent during their lives to enrich others lives. Well to make this long story short, I went to a cemetery that was not under lock and key one day and just walked and read the names on the headstones. I discounted those that were less than 20 years of age from life to death. I would stop at the foot of each grave and think about what talent did this person die with that nobody knew about? The more I walked the more depressed I got. I was probably 25 or 30 years old at this time. I ran my own business, setting my hours and determining my income. I thought – “Boy, you really have it made, and this will not be you when it is your time.”
Well, have you ever looked at a headstone on a grave and noticed that between the beginning date (Date of Birth) and the ending date (Date of Death) – actually the two shortest days of a person’s life – there is a “dash?” For example …
Fig. 1 – Graphic developed by Jerry Nix using image from internet with fictitious name and dates.
The dash between the dates on this marker is the dash I am referring to. The Dash represents what happened between the persons birth and their death. There was once a great poem written by Linda Ellis that can explain this quite simply for you:
Fig. 2 – graphics from website mentioned below. Outline of poem photo by Jerry Nix
Now as you read this poem, I’m sure each of your can draw your own conclusions. If you’d like to know more about the poem and how it came about, follow this link to the website I found it on: https://dadontheedgeinfo.medium.com/the-dash-live-your-life-to-the-fullest-dad-on-the-edge-bf7ae99cb1eb .
The bottom line is this. The amount of time we have on this earth is finite. Yes, I am preaching to the young people reading this – but also directing it to some of the older folks I’ve ran across too. You will come across a lot of roads as you travel through this thing called “LIFE” and you should probably take a drive down some and stay as far away as you can from others. But those decisions, Dear Reader, must be yours and yours alone. Do Not let others make the decisions for you (once you are old enough and wise enough to make them on your own). It’s okay to solicit advice from those who my have travelled down one of those roads but remember … they are not you. What worked well for them may not work so well for you.
Before I get into some roads I took and some, I should have taken that I didn’t, let me introduce another writing that is not mine. I have written to the author of this piece and asked his permission to use this in the article. Whether I gain that permission or not, I don’t know, but it’s a road – for now – that I am willing to take.
How do we forgive ourselves for all that we did not become?
On February 16, 2025, I saw a post that my cousin, Joy Nix Moman, had shared and I thought it quite unique. All I know about this author is that he is young, he’s from The Philippines, and he writes a lot and seems to be very smart. According to his profile on his Instagram Site he has 219,000 followers (a heck of a lot more than me) and has had, as of February 12th, 49,352 likes on this one piece.
Fig. 3 – header of Instagram page for this individual captured from Instagram.
I encourage you to read that a couple of times and really let it sink in. It is not that long and it says an awful lot that many of us need to read, hear and commit to memory.
Many Roads but only Three Main Periods of Life:
It is important to understand that a baby boy being born today in America has an “average” life expectancy of 77 years based on insurance mortality tables. A girl being born today on the other hand, has an “average” life expectancy of 81 years. However, that is just the average and many of us do not consider ourselves average.
If we break this down to groups of 100,000 boys or girls today, we know – based on IRS Mortality for Social Security Purposes …
- Of 100,000 boys born 77 years ago, 55,642 men are still alive today and…
- Of 100,000 girls born 81 years ago, 59,370 women are still alive today.
- The chance of a boy dying before he becomes a 77-year-old man is only 44.358% meaning that there is a 55.642% chance that he will be a man that will live longer than age 77. However, at age 77 there is a 0.045241 probability of death within one year (that’s a 4.5241% chance). In other words, 4.5 men out of 100 at age 77 will die before they are 78 … so many … 95.5 per 100 will live longer.
- The chance of a girl dying before she becomes an 81-year-old woman is only 40.63% meaning that there is a 59.370% chance that she will be a woman that will live longer than age 81. However, at age 81 there is a 0.049087 probability of death within one year (that’s a 4.9807% chance). In other words, almost 5 women out of 100 at age 81 will die before they are 82 … so many … 95 per 100 will live longer.
I’m not a “numbers guy” so I won’t go through all the numbers. You can do that on your own by visiting this IRS Web Document à https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html .
I will tell you that at age 90 – based on the numbers shown – of 100,000 men today there should still be about 16,504 alive 90 years from today and of 100,000 women alive today there should be about 27,827 alive 90 years from today. This will make sense when you review my graphic below:
Fig. 4 – This graphic was designed and created by Jerry Nix from a memory of something he used throughout his 42-year Financial Planning Career.
PERIOD 1: LEARNING YEARS
As you begin life out of mama’s womb you are very dependent on various people to lead you through parts of life you have no ability to even understand at many of those young ages. This period stretches from Infancy, through Adolescence, Teenage Years up to (and sometimes a little past) Young Adult Ages.
For most this should end at about age 18 since – by military standards (drawing on my life experience) this is when most enter into the military or college or the full-time job market (without the parents’ permission). The military, of course, will still see to it that you remain dependent (which is okay with me) but college will let parents know on the first “greet the family day” that your child is now an adult and only they (the student) will let you see their grades, if they want you to see them, and the college does not have the right to share their grades with you unless you (the student) grants them that right because you are an adult responsible for you own choices and consequences. However, if you want to travel abroad for study, they will still require that parent’s signature and approval even though you are still supposed to be an adult.
So, for this reason, I have given Period 1 twenty years in my chart in Fig. 4 above.
PERIOD 2: EARNING AND GROWING YEARS
This period is between the ages of 21 and 70. During this 50-year period you will be learning and growing physically and mentally. If smart and working and saving and investing money as you should be it will also be your earning years. Now if a person is born today, June 18, 2025, they would turn 21 on June 18, 2046, and would also turn 71 on June 18, 2096. This, as you read it, looks like a long time. It is 18,263 days during this 50-year period. This is a lot of time, when you look at it, to make some good and bad decisions in life. Or, to choose a lot of good roads and bad roads as you travel through life. But once you’re there, at 71 years of age and look back at your age 21 you will realize just how short of a period that time is.
This is when it hits you like a brick in the head. In life there are no mulligans or do overs. Once you’ve lived it … you’ve lived it. You cannot change it. You can only accept it.
PERIOD 3: GOLDEN YEARS OR YEARNING YEARS
Now if you’re lucky you’ve hit the winter season of your life. Periods 1 and 2 were the Spring, Summer and Fall seasons of life. Winter is when all things die or prepare to die. As humans (not plants) we will do both during that season – again if we are lucky to get there … and so far at 74 years of age I’ve been lucky to get there, and my winter started on July 1, 2018 – the first day of my retirement. There are still lots of decisions and choices I am having to make as I prepare for the ultimate while trying to repair some of the bad choices of the past.
My period three (Winter) is both Golden and Yearning. Golden because I prepared to have enough money to live throughout the rest of my life as well as a way to generate income while I play. But also Yearning for things I should have done during the first two periods of my life that I didn’t do because “Life itself” got in the way.
But am I sorry for the way anything has turned out? Am I forgiving myself for not doing the things I wanted to do? I was looking to forgive until I read the lines that I found written by a young author from the Philippines …
And maybe that is what forgiveness looks like— not a door swung open, not a grand reconciliation, but a quiet understanding: that even the lives we did not live still shaped the one we are living now.
No, I never went to college. No, I never planned to work in the field of Financial Planning. No, I never planned to marry at 20 years of age and stay married to the same woman (as of today) for 53 years. No, I never planned to father 4 children who have provided me so far 8 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren.
As for college … I barely graduated High School on time with a C- Average. I could not have done that if I had not gone to summer school to make up for poor math/algebra and science grades.
As for the field of Financial Planning … Heck, Me? After failing Algebra two years in a row – why on earth would I have logically chosen a career the requires a lot of math? I remember telling my dad, “I will never work in a job that requires me to use math anyhow – so I’m not worried about being bad at it.”
As for settling down and marrying a woman I’m still married to 53 years ago … I’d always thought of myself as a “player” of beautiful women and had many up till age 20 … then there was one and a whole lot of good memories of others.
And as for four children … I did not really want the responsibility of 1 let alone 3 more on top of that first one. I can’t really say much about the 8 grandkids and 2 great grandkids. The only role I played in that was the 4 kids I helped raise (and helped very little with that).
This was the plan …
- I would graduate High school, join the Army and make it a career, and where that road led me to – it would lead me to.
- While in the army I would focus on my musical abilities. I played trumpet in the concert band in high school, and had an audition set for the Chicago Symphony Orchestra before joining the Army.
- I loved singing and sang in a small band as the lead singer as well as the choir in high school and church.
- I wanted to learn to play the guitar and someday be a big-time recording star in the genre of Classic Country Music. I figured that would lead me to even more beautiful women (LOL), and hopefully some very large paychecks.
But the plan didn’t work out as well as the non-plan did. I fell prey to some wrong roads or choices.
Simply Put: Life got in my way!
Isn’t it funny how some plans never seem to work out. What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing that? Some of you are. Some of you had good advice and guidance as children and pursued your goals. Some of you didn’t and you still will turn out okay and won’t need to have any regrets about the way things turn out.
Did you know … On average, only about 25% to 46% of college graduates in the U.S. work in a career directly related to their major or field of study.
Here’s a quick breakdown:
- Around 25% of graduates work in a job that closely matches their degree.
- Roughly 62% are employed in roles unrelated to their major or in jobs that don’t require a degree at all.
- A more optimistic survey found that 46% of grads say they currently work in their field of study.
I’m not sorry, for sure, about the way things turned out. It does not hurt one bit that Some Roads Never Travelled had a negative impact on my life. Even those lives I did not live still shaped the one I am living now!
- I have been retired for almost 8 years and during this time …
- I have learned or am learning to play the guitar (I gave up the trumpet years ago when I got married).
- In the past 16 months I have posted over 510 videos of my singing on YouTube and still posting 5 to 10 new ones each week.
- I have been able, since retirement, to spend more time with my family and grandchildren.
- I have not made a nickel, nor do I expect to make any with any of my music – I do it for pure self-enjoyment as well as hopefully bring some peace of mind and enjoyment to many of my 200 + listeners. But if I ever needed income from this source I think I could acquire it – or so I’ve been told I could.
- I continue to stay involved in helping people with financial planning through some of the writings I have on my blog at www.freewavemaker.com as well as trading my own investment accounts for more monetary growth.
- I play a lot of golf – at least an average of 3 rounds per week.
- I ride my motorcycles (yes, I have two) with at least one cross country ride each year and I’m well into my 70’s.
- I’ve maintained decent health – which could probably be better if I gave up the habit of smoking – but I do walk 5 to 6 miles 5 to 6 days per week on average at a very fast pace. If you’re not sweating and breathing heavy, you’re not burning as many calories as you should. Since February of 2024 (when I started working out) I’ve lowered my weight from 276 pounds to about 207 pounds and still eat about anything I want to. And yes, the weight will decrease until I hit that perfect weight for my height and build of 195 pounds.
- Basically, I’m as happy as I think I could ever be.
Now that we’re almost done with this article – a little bit of advice from a wise old “baby boomer”:
For those in the springtime of their life …
FIRST: Children, teens and young adults always remember what I’ve told all my children (though I had very little time to spend with them when they were children) – “Learn to read and comprehend what your reading and nothing you want to accomplish in life will be out of reach.” Remember I failed math twice and almost flunked out of high school and could not qualify for college. However, I was still a successful financial advisor because I learned to read and comprehend what I read.
This was a career that requires at least a Series 7 Securities License. One of the hardest tests to pass since it does not require a college degree (or even a High School Degree) to take it. It is written so 60% of those who take this test of four hours in length and 140 hours of study time still fail it the first time. I scored 90% the first time because I read more than was required and studied 280 hours before setting for the exam. However, I did not begin until the Summer of my life and could have probably done much better had I known more about how life would turn out for me while in the springtime of my life.
SECOND: Try to decide as early, as soon as possible, what it is that you want to be when you grow up. Then try to direct all your choices in that direction.
I have a child who always wanted to be a Policeman when he grew up. I asked him one day while he was still in high school how many books, he read about being a policeman. His answer was, “Dad I hate to read.” Today he is successful in the Auto Parts business and seems to be happy. Had he been a policeman, he may not even be with us now.
I have a daughter who loved school and was a straight “A” student. She always wanted to, in some way, give back to the educational system. Today she holds a PhD in Education and is employed full time at Florida State University and is very happy with her career choice.
My first daughter had only 1 semester of college upon graduating high school but went on to get some certifications on-line and now works as a Para Legal for a national radio broadcasting station. She’s happy and is probably right up there with her younger sister when it comes to reading and comprehension.
My other son hit some pretty low levels in life. Divorce, broke and even living on friends couches for a while. A great athlete, especially in basketball – but just could not seem to get the breaks needed to make a career of it though he wanted to. He has some college (one year formal and the remainder online). Today, he is happily married, the father of three girls and grandfather to one boy and one girl. His specialty turned out to be supervisor of a team of engineers for a major American Cable Company. He’s now been with this company long enough to retire and draw a pension, but like all my kids has a tremendous work-ethic and will likely not retire for years to come.
For those in the summer and fall of life …
FIRST AND FOREMOST, always try to get into a career that is something you enjoy doing. If you truly enjoy it, it is never work but rather play. It’s always easier to get up on Monday morning and go play than it is to go to work. Prior to my financial planning profession, I worked the first four years out of the military as a Repairman of Box Cars for the Burlington Northern Railroad. I always thought in high school and in the military (where I worked on helicopters to keep them flying) that Mechanic would be the best choice for me. Nope! It was work. I actually HATED WORK! I found my thrill working with people and their money. I always went to bed on Friday night hoping that Monday Morning would hurry up and get here so I could get back after it. That’s the real reason I stayed with it for 42 years. To me figuring out and writing financial plans for clients was a lot of fun and I made a good game, along with a good income, from it.
If you find yourself in a position that you are not comfortable with and do not look forward to doing … do your best while looking for a new road to travel down. Or learn to turn your work into play. And by all means – even if you can make your work play – always show a good Work-ethic to your boss, fellow employees, customers and family. There is nothing that will take you further in this life than having a great work-ethic. My kids are living proof of this. They all put in more than 40 hours per week and some as much as I did … 80 hours per week. Remember if you can make your work your play you don’t have to worry about the psychological babble of Life-Work-Balance.
There is an old saying that I truly believe in …
If you find yourself in a rut and you continue to dig deeper into that rut you may end up digging your own grave from which you will never get out of.
Now just a word or two for the Parents of these people I have shared some advice with …
When your children are children in the springtime of their life, they need a parent to lead them, advise them, guide them, counsel with them, and yes sometimes discipline them. They do not need one more Besty Friend. They have enough of those folks that will happily lead them down the wrong path.
Be a parent – Not a best friend!!!
Perhaps when they turn age 21 and above you can be their best friend … but until then … they need more than friendship. They need support and guidance, and they are not going to get that from a best friend that is the same age as they are. For you to be your 12-year-olds best friend – you have to act 12. You are the adult. Act like it. You know the mistakes they can make because you have already made them. Be their parent and help them to grow into the individuals they want and need to become. Teach them the things no one in school will teach them. Honesty, Integrity, Morals, and things like that. Teach them things they will need to make it on their own … how to write a check or even move money online to pay bills, how to budget, how to save and the value of money. As a retired financial advisor, I can tell you MONEY IS NOT the MOST IMPORTANT thing in life … but it is how people tend to keep score in this GAME WE CALL LIFE.
And now for everyone reading this …
There is one thing for sure – your life that can only be lived one time – will turn out exactly how you let it. This brings me to a poem I want to share with you as I close. The title of the poem is INVICTUS (which means Unconquered or Undefeated in Latin) and was written by William Ernest Henley in 1875:
Fig. 5 Poem Designed by CoPilot
Now allow me to actually close by explaining more simply what I believe each line means for you, though you may have your own thoughts on this too.
Stanza 1
Out of the night that covers me,
Henley begins with a metaphor for darkness—possibly suffering, despair, or uncertainty—that surrounds him.
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
“The Pit” could symbolize hell or deep hardship. The darkness is total, stretching across the world.
I thank whatever gods may be
He’s not specific about religion—this is a universal gratitude for inner strength.
For my unconquerable soul.
Despite the darkness, his spirit remains undefeated. This sets the tone of resilience.
Stanza 2
In the fell clutch of circumstance
“Fell” means cruel or deadly. Life’s harsh conditions have him in their grip.
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
He’s endured pain silently, with dignity.
Under the bludgeoning’s of chance
Life’s randomness has beaten him down…
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
…but he refuses to submit. This is one of the most iconic lines of defiance.
Stanza 3
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
“This place” is life itself—full of suffering and sorrow.
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
“The shade” is death. Even that looming fear doesn’t shake him.
And yet the menace of the years
Time brings threats and aging…
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
…but he remains fearless, now and in the future.
Stanza 4
It matters not how strait the gate,
A biblical reference—“strait” means narrow. The path to salvation or righteousness is hard.
How charged with punishments the scroll,
The “scroll” could be a record of sins or life’s burdens.
I am the master of my fate:
He controls his destiny…
I am the captain of my soul.
…and he alone steers his inner life. This is the poem’s triumphant declaration of self-mastery.
It’s a poem about enduring hardship without surrendering your will. Henley wrote it while recovering from a serious illness, and it’s become a timeless anthem of courage and autonomy.
In summary:
I hope that you have enjoyed this article and if so will comment on it if you feel you should and follow me for future articles from FreeWaveMaker, LLC.
Have a great day,
Jerry Nix – author and freelance writer | FreeWaveMaker, LLC